Sample Essay Response

This is a copy of an essay that I wrote in relation to a given prompt on the context of conflict. This was written in about ten minutes and needs some work. I have included it so that you are able to look at it critically. Try and think what do I like or not like about? What are its strengths and weaknesses? What would I do differently?

Practice SAC
Prompt: A conflict’s importance lies not in its causes but in its consequences.
Whilst the events during a conflict can be seen as significant, it is surely the consequences that are of the most importance. Conflicts can range from minor arguments to international clashes. The consequences can be enduring and far reaching, and can in some cases lead to further conflicts. It has to be also said that the consequences can have positive and negative outcomes.
It may be some time until we discover the consequences of any given conflict and this may be evident in events such as cultural clashes and international conflicts. Events such as the dropping of the bomb on Hiroshima had far reaching implications other that the direct effects of death and injury, the advent of cancer and deformaties in future generations had a strong impact on the people of Japan. This is also true of the clash between the Aboriginals and White Settlers in Kate Grenville’s ‘The Secret River’. The ongoing dispute over land ownership eventually led to the death of many Aboriginals and a loss of rights. The effects of this can even been seen today in the case of Aboriginal land rights and court cases such as Mabo.
The outcomes of any conflict can be viewed as positive or negative depending on the view of the parties involved. It is inevitable in these disputes that one party is going to strive to achieve its goals. This is true of William Thornhill in ‘The Secret River’, he views the fact that he has claimed some land as a victory over his life of struggle, this is of course to the detriment of the Aboriginal people. William eventually goes on to great success but does feel some remorse over the fact that he participated in the massacre at Thomas Blackwood’s place, and he has to deal with the fact that he has lost his relationship with his son Dick.
We can also view conflict as a catalyst for change and the consequences of this is that change occurs because the conflict. This was evident after the terrorist attack in New York on the 9th of September. This attack lead to major changes in how people travelled, and how security checks were carried out in major airports.
Whilst the conflict may be seen as important at the time of the event, it is the consequences that we will have to live with, in some cases for many years. These conflicts will affect the involved parties in a variety of ways and will have positive or negative outcomes.